


Pukin' Rainbows

by mrs_schoolweek



Category: Mad Max Series (Movies)
Genre: Buddies, Candy, Cinnamon Roll Nux, Everybody Lives, Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Mentions of Cancer, The Talk, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 09:19:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_schoolweek/pseuds/mrs_schoolweek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ridiculously sweet fix-it story where Nux regains health, Slit lives and everybody feels a little bit emotional. The Talk by Max,  candy-eating Nux, the mysterious Shiny Doof and other great things you didn't know you needed but which will make you smile like a dork. Very slight Nux/Slit/Capable, but not much romance/sex etc. Just dorky buddy things and fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pukin' Rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> There are undertones of Nux/Capable, Nux/Slit, Slit/Capable and sorta Nux/Capable/Slit, but nothing too major happens.  
> Also, bad language because... warboys are warboys?  
> And again, writer of this is not a native English speaker so please, forgive me.
> 
> Written for a kinkmeme prompt: Nux eats candy

Dying had been okay for Nux.  
Unexpected yet painful survival had been okay for Nux.  
Even the embarrassing level of care and attention he received as a "wounded hero" had been kinda okay.  
But medication... That fucking cancer medication and stupid, not-at-all-crome painkillers. They were not fucking okay for Nux!!!  
A couple of times he had concidered blowing himself up to Valhalla with a barrel of fuel and a bag of granades or something because he hated all this new "healing"-shit so much. Of course he wouldn't do that, not really. Because Capable was super okay, and the others too. And Slit surviving... That was okay and kinda crome as well.  
But he fucking hated laying down and being weak.  
He fucking lots-hated throwing up and losing weight.  
And he very-muches-fucking-hated it that even when he didn't throw up, he couldn't really get much down.

The Blood Bag didn't stay in the Citadel. He kept coming back, however, bringing in more meds and other useful stuff. Nux suspected, though, that he might have had some other reason too. He just couldn't figure out what it was. Maybe he could ask Furiosa? She seemed to get along with him quite well.  
Nux had been reluctant to take the meds at first, feeling it was a waste of valuable resources. After Furiosa had explained to him, how much more a healthy black thumb was worth, he had taken them happily. Furiosa thought he was valuable!  
For some reason, suddenly everyone seemed to think he was valuable because he was sick and hurt. Nux scratched his ribs and chucled. Silly people, calling him crome because he was skinny and throwing up. Didn't make no sense  
At first, the Blood Bag brought him "peenut butter" from his travels. Nux was very suspicious until Toast assured him it was nutritious and not at all pee. It tasted nice.  
The second one to bring eatable stuff was the Dag, of course. "Spee-nach". Why was all the food stuff pee-something? This too, was okay afterall.  
Capable made him little pancakes. They tasted great, but afterwards (he made sure she left first) he threw up like a goddamn puke cannon. Had to be because of all the milk and butter-stuff.  
Every day when Slit came to see him, Nux noticed his brow frowning and eyes going serious for a while. Did he look so bad? Organic mechanic had told him that he was doing better already, but yeah... He didn't need war pain any more to look like a skeleton. That made him paint himself even more, not wanting people to see how weak he really was.  
No way getting to Valhalla puking and being mediocre.  
Then one day, Slit didn't come to see him.  
Nux was worried sick. Not really, he was sick anyway, but he was worried.  
He missed being punched to one of his bony arms.  
He missed being called with stupid names.  
He missed his mate and was terrified when Capable wouldn't tell where he had gone. Knowing Slit, that meant something stupid.

While Slit was gone, Capable and Toast experimented with Nux some more. They found out over twenty new foods which made him vomit like a flamethrower (flames replaced with puke, of course) and two which didn't.  
One was mushy, the other was crispy.  
Mushy one was made of "fruits". Nux insisted to smash them with a hammer himself to feel more manly. It tasted sweet and crome.  
Nux really liked the crispy one. The name sounded like a primal prayer-hymn.  
"Müüüsli", they called it. Sweet too, and crunched real good, like tiny bones.  
Warrior food for sure, he told himself and feasted on müüüsli every time he didn't feel like puking. Would make him strong and crome again.

Furiosa tried to keep Nux's mood up by inviting him to join some patrol rides.  
It prove to be nowhere as good idea as planned. He became nauseous and ashamed of his assumed weakness as soon as the rig started moving. Mediocre, he called himself.  
The Blood Bag brought him a comic book. That was pretty crome for a while. Worrying about Slit made it a lot less fun, though. Nux would have wanted to show him all the shiny high-octane action scenes. Capable hadn't been too impressed by them, sadly.  
Dag taught him some new dice games and they were okay. Until he puked on her and kinda upset her.  
Nux didn't quite know why, but sometimes Cheedo would suggest him he might want to bathe with Capable to make him feel better. Nux didn't want to. What if he puked on her too? And she propably wouldn't want to see any more of his skinniness, right?  
Every day Nux felt more and more miserable. In the old times, he had at least had someone understandable to be sick with. War boys didn't do weird food experiment shit or this "bathing" or stupid rules.  
Stupid fucking rules everywhere. "No taking whole weeks meds in one day". "No going to Valhalla by biting snake heads off". "No puking to bed".  
Nux was sick of it all and stupid medication. It wouldn't even leave a crome scar like real healing.

Then one day, during his second warrior-naptime, Nux heard a familiar voice behind the door.  
"'S jerkface 'kay?"  
"He's resting. Medication seems to work well, but he has continued losing weight. You think you could make him eat?"  
"Sure, 's what I've been plannin'. He'll be shiny an' crome in no time."  
Slit! Nux jumped from the bed, excited, and fell staight to the floor. How mediocre was -  
"Jerkface, mate, what's you doin' there?"  
Even more fucking mediocre! Of course Slit had to walk in and see him like this. Nux felt his eyes water and bit his lip.  
"'M practicing real crome new battle manouvers", he muttered and dragged himself up to a proper sitting position. Slit winked and gave him a rare fair-guy-smile.  
"Sure, looks crome. Teach me too someday", he said, tossing a bad to Nux. Not a small leather sack like the ones they normally used for carrying bullets and stuff but a full backpack. Nux's eyes widened.  
"Whattashit is this, Slit?"  
"Pure, high-octane human guzzoline, Nux! 'T'll fix you shiny in no time!" Slit's face was glowing with pride. He had stolen a war rig and had hell of a ride with two heavy gunners and five younger guys to get that shit!  
"What you mean, Slit? There's no other cure than the stupid, mediocre med-shit", Nux sighed. He had asked that often enough to know. Slit lifted him back to bed like a child and kept smiling.  
"Not the cancer, jerkface. The puking. You'll be the Imperator of not-puking in days."

 

Tha bag was full of smaller bags. Made of "plastic", real nice and shiny stuff with colourful pictures on it. Nux opened one of those carefully, keeping in mind that Cheedo liked making jewelry from all kind of shiny scrap materials.  
"See? Human guzzoline", Slit said, shaking a couple of small things from the bag onto Nux's blanket.  
Nux eyed them carefully. Small, like little red and yellow apple-fruits, all round. Light glimmered on the surface, like they were made of glass.  
"What are these, Slit? 'M takin' enough drugs already."  
"Not drugs, these'r way gooder. Come on, try some", Slit sighed and shoved a couple of red ones in Nux's mouth.  
Nux blinked and rolled one carefully against his teeth. It melted into a tasty taste. Glory be! He almost spit the human guzzoline stuff out because it was so sweet.  
"See? These aren't no drugs", Slit laughed and slapped his friend's shoulder:  
"Warrior food. A thousand caa-lo-ries in one bag, makes you strong."  
"What's caa-lory, Slit?" Nux wondered, picking shyly some more "candy" to his mouth. It tasted like Valhalla, didn't make him want to puke at all.  
"'S like... Like caliber of food, jerkface. If these was ammo, it'd be a fuckin' cannonball", Slit explained, proud of his discovery. Organic mechanic had told him it was caa-lo-ries Nux needed, so he had gone raiding for those. Stupid women tried to make him eat soft stuff like a baby. Didn't understand Nux needed high-octane warrior guzzoline.

Candy made Nux feel invincible. It was like fighting, all buzzing and crome. When he had scooped down amost half of the candies from the first plastic bag, Slit forced him to slow down.  
"They aren't gonna go nowhere, stupid. Have a break or you'll end up pukin' again", he told. Nux nodded, looking pathetic.  
"So, how are you been while I was away?" Slit asked, atypically nicely. Maybe he felt a little bad for Nux. He had looked happier (and hungrier) eating than in a long while.  
"Well... I got this comic-thing. Battle stuff, real crome. 'Ll show you later", Nux promised and a smile lighted up his face again. Slit nodded. Battle stuff was good, would cheer Nux.  
"Hey Slit... Can you explain me some shit?" Nux asked, biring his lip. He was sure Slit would know, he knew a lot of shit.  
"If ya gimme three of those candies", Slit agreed, grinning. Didn't want more than three, honestly. Had to leave most for Nux to make him healthy again. Just liked to tease him.  
"'Kay. So... Cheedo said, I should bathe with Capable. Is it like... Real bath, or is she want to see if she'll win me in a brawl now when I'm sick and stuff?" Nux asked. He had figured out this possibility recently, remembering that washing times often lead to playful brawls among war boys. Maybe women did that too?  
Slit almost choked to a candy. He roared in laughter, slamming Nux's thigh so hard it turned purple.  
"What'ya laughin' at, shitface?", Nux groaned. He wasn't THAT weak. Never would lose a fight with Capable. Except if he wanted to.  
"Maybe the guzzoline fumes made your brain mushy afterall, jerk", Slit laughed.  
"What?"  
" She's not wanna fight, idiot. She wants to do the stuff with you."  
"Stop shittin' me, Slit. What'ya mean?!"  
"She's wanna play lancer an' driver with you, jerkface."

 

"Furiosa?" Nux called when the woman's figure passed his doorway. She seemed trustworthy.  
"Nux? You look healthier today", Furiosa greeted and stepped inside, smiling encouragingly. She really didn't want to repeat the rig-puking incident's atmosphere.  
"Been eatin' caa-lories", Nux told her happily and took a small bite of dried bread. It had turned out that eating candy also made eating everything else a little easier, since he wasn't so nauseous because of hunger any more.  
"You wanted to ask something?" Furiosa guessed. He nodded.  
"Yeah... Well, you know... I'm a little lost here. Slit is shittin' me, or Cheedo, or possibly Capable", Nux admitted and scratched his head. Furiosa looked confused.  
"About what? If you mean your healing, you really are getting better, Nux. The Mechanic told me just this morning the size of your lumps is decreasing. It just takes time."  
"No, not the cancer shit 'gain. Sure I'm gonna kick it's ass. It's 'bout... Fuck, don't even know."  
Furiosa nodded patiently and sat on the edge of Nux's bed. He was eating candy again, good.  
"Well... Capable says I'm crome and not a thing and she likes me.  
But then, Cheedo says Capable wants to maybe brawl in bath", the boy sighed and picked another loop-shaped soft candy. Furiosa frowned and corners of her mouth twitched.  
"And Slit? I'm surprised he dared to come here after what I did to him. Seven men and a war rig! Better be one hell of a shitting", she said, trying not to laugh. Couldn't be too angry about it, though.  
"Well, that's the weirdest shit. He told me Capable is wanna... Um, you know, play lancer and driver", Nux whispered, his cheeks turning red under the war paint.  
"You see, Nux... Capable was not free before and she's very free now. That might mean that she wishes to, um- play, with someone of her liking, yes", Furiosa said slowly. Nux blinked in confusion. Slit wasn't shittin'?!  
"So... Women can do that too?"

Nobody really wanted to explain the hudraulics to Nux, but they knew somebody had to. To get rid of the responsiblity, Furiosa asked Max to do it. At least he would be neutral - and a man. Max agreed only because Furiosa asked.  
Nux was munching candy when Blood Bag entered the room.  
"Hi! Ya'r meds feel like shit but are makin' me shinier already", Nux declared and grinned. Max grunted and took a seat next to the boy. Better just make this quick.  
"So... This... You have manly parts, right? You following me?" the man mumbled and picked up a stick-shaped rasberry candy. Nux nodded in amused terror. Blood Bag was always weird, but this was weirder than normal.  
"See this, um, apple loop? So... Women have womanly parts, men have manly parts", Max growled, sticked the rasberry candy trough the apple loop and lifted a thumb for Nux, stumbling towards the door.  
"You'll figure it out. G'day."  
Nux was left alone and confused. Okay... He took a bite of the confusing candies and giggled. Human parts? He was pretty sure these were just caa-lories made of "sugar".  
And V8 be praised, it felt good! Just a few more days, and he might be actually able to eat some people-food.  
Licking sugar from his fingers, Nux closed his eyes. Better than fighting. Didn't feel no pain or fear, just cromeness and sweet.  
He had heard Dag and Cheedo talking about love and knew what it meant. It was the most shiny and crome feeling, all sweet and made you not wanting to stop at all, like Valhalla in this life.  
He knew he loved driving and fixin' cars. He knew he loved the nice people who made him feel crome even if he was sick and puking. He knew he loved candy, too. Now he just wanted so badly to get better soon, so he could learn more about all kind of shit. Like candy, and love, and... Yeah, that thing still kinda confused him. How did it work?!

 

Finally Nux started to believe this "healing" was really real.  
He still threw up, maybe twice a day or so, but he could now see his lumps getting smaller. Fevers had stopped, too.  
He decided it was time to start working again. At first, it was just small stuff. Slit helped him down to the garage, he spent there a couple of hours. Cleaned small engine parts, sorted good and not-good screws, told the younger boys how to fix some stuff.  
It was lame and mediocre how little he could do himself. For a while, he concidered just staying in bed. He was too pathetic to be seen, the other war boys (and pups now promoted to war boys) would never respect him again.  
At least that was what he thought until this one little guy came talking to him.  
"Is't true ya can puke blood?"  
"Um... Sometimes, yeah. Not too much anymore", Nux admitted. The boy's eyes widened.  
"Crome! How is the human guzzoline?"  
Oh, Nux realized. This must be one of the candy-raid boys. Better be nice to him.  
"'S working good, real good. So... Were ya' one of the gunners? You look like one", he asked, knowing the boy totally wasn't. Too small to handle a heavy gun like that.  
"Well... Almost. Slit said I'd be a gunner next time." The boy's grin was so wide Nux could see his every tooth.  
"Next time?" he sighed. Yeah, typical jerkbrain, shitface Slit! Of course he wasn't happy with one historic rig-raid only. The bastard planned on doing it again.  
"Yeah. Like... Ya' need more guzzoline, right?" The boy muttered. He was worried that if Nux would get well too soon, he might not become a gunner after all. Nux thought about it and candies a while. Then he looked around to make sure any of the Sisters weren't there and whispered:  
"Fuck yes. But next time I'll join ya'. I'll gonna heal historic on the Fury Road! I live, I puke, I live again."

Capable went to see Nux late that night. There were so many things to do now, when everything in the Citadel had changed.  
Nux was sitting on his bed, looking more lively than usually, and repairing his boots.  
"Hi, Nux. I hope you aren't wearing yourself out. You have been doing stuff the whole day, you still need rest", she told him, gently. Nux shook his head.  
"'M fine, kickin' cancer's ass an' all. Need stuff to do", he protested. Capable sighed.  
"Nux, I know you want to be useful and you will be. Just take it easy and... Well, I brought you something, actually."  
"Fud-gee". The stuff was called fud-gee. Capable had found a recipe from an old cook book and decided that it would be both nutritious enough and appealing to Nux's sweet tooth.  
Nux scooped the sticky, light brown stuff from a bowl with his spoon and looked at it carefully. Shined a little, like oil. Smelled sweet, candy-like. Small pieces of grounded "nuts" and "almonds" in it, too. Capable claimed they were strong food, for warriors. Okay.  
When the spoon entered Nux's mouth, he flinched. V8 be praised, it was sweet! His eyes widened.  
"Like it?" Capable asked sweetly, leaning to brush Nux's cheek with her fingertips. Nux shivered and nodded.  
Fuck yes he liked it!  
It was all soft and sweet and shiny like Capable and wind, made him all buzzing and crome.  
And it was rough too, a little salty and hot like revving engines and sun and Slit.  
Nux scooped more fud-gee and smiled. His life was confusing. Confusing but okay.  
And a little crome, too.

 

The next morning Nux woke up so sick he thought he was dying. All that working and a bowl of fud-gee... His body couldn't handle all that so suddenly.  
He hugged a puke-bucket, napped, threw up again, assured Toast and Cheedo he would be okay and napped again.  
Yelling in the corridor behind his door woke him up from his nauseous sleep.  
"You damned MORON!!! You were planning to take him to a raid! Idiot, he could die!" that was Capable for sure. And V8 be praised, she sounded angry!  
"Ya' breeders wanna just feed him mushy mediocre stuff!" Aaand... That was Slit.  
"I am NOT a breeder! You - you brainless jerk, he needs nutrients!" Capable yelled and Nux could hear her throwing stuff.  
"The mechanic told 'is fuckin' heart might stop 'cause he ain't gettin' no caa-lo-ries!"  
"You made him WORK!!!"  
"You made him eat baby food!"  
Based on the noises, Capable punched Slit to the face.  
"Idiot, you can not make him work and take him to raids, he's still..."  
Legs shaking and stomach turning around, Nux walked to the door and looked at his friends. Both were panting heavily, faces red with anger (and in Slit's case pain) and they stared at him.  
"Nux, dear... You should be resting", Capable managed to sigh.  
"My heart was stoppin'?! Why didn't ya' tell me?" Nux groaned, biting his lip. That sounded like the most stupid ever to die. No getting to Valhalla like that, no way!  
Slit and Capable looked at each other.  
"We... Thought you could hear that when you get better", Capable muttered, now embarassed by her behavior. Slit scratched his head.  
"I knew you'd be fine", he mumbled and added to Capable:  
"Good punch, by the way."

After getting Nux back onto his bed Capable and Slit both fell silent. Stupid silence. Stupid jerks!  
"Why didn't ya tell me", Nux asked again, angry this time. His tone softened when he noticed how wet Capable's and Slit's eyes looked.  
"I already have cancer. You can tell me stuff. I'm fucking sick with all the stupid secrets. Heart-stoppin' and bathin' and raidin' and weird apple loop stuff."  
His friends blinked in confusion.  
"We though we were doing a good thing for you, Nux. We're sorry, we'll tell you next time", Capable promised and hugged him. Slit nodded and wrapped his arms clumsily around Capable and Nux.  
"Sorry, jerkface."  
When the hug ended, Capable seemed to remember something.  
"I know about the heart thing and the raid, but what are bathing secret and apple loops, Nux?" she asked.  
Nux blushed under his skull paint and Slit started laughing hysterically.

 

After the punching and yelling episode, Nux noticed a change in Slit's behavior. A very odd change.  
Slit stopped calling anyone "a breeder". He called them Sisters now, and helped carrying stuff, and visited Nux less. Was he afraid? Did he think Capable would tell Furiosa about the raid?  
Nux was a little dissappointed. He would have wanted to go raiding with the boys. Yeah, he guessed it would have been a little dangerous but what wasn't? He was a war boy, after all.  
Capable was changing too. At first Nux thought it was because of his sickness or her stress but soon he started to believe this was the real Capable.  
She yelled more and she laughed more. She stopped wearing the long white thing and instead started using greasy overalls. Nux was pretty sure she hanged around the garage, too, but she wouldn't admit that.  
Oh.  
Oh. He got it one afternoon, sitting on his bed and cleaning guns, medicated pretty thoroughly.  
He was fucking dying, really. That's why the Mechanic had cut down his medication. Oh shit. Oh double-shit!  
He was fucking dying and Slit and Capable were playing driver and lancer, trying to get over him.  
Oh.  
That hurt so bad Nux just collapsed on his bed and gun parts and all, crying and maybe puking a little too.

Slit and Capable were giggling when they approached Nux's room.  
The mood kinda changed, when they found him all sick and sobbing and cursing them to hell.  
"Ya'... Ya' couldn't wait me dyin' before ya' got to it!" he shrieked, so fucking angry it made him nauseous again. His friends' eyes widened.  
"Ya' ain't dyin' Nux. Whatta shit is this now?" Slit sighed and wrapped his arms around the boy, who was trying to punch him weakly.  
"Ya'... Ya'r bunkin' together, right? Waitin' for me to die, little bastards! What if I don't die, fucker!?"  
Slit just held him as he spat and cursed and yelled. Didn't take long before he was too exhausted to continue. That was when Capable took Nux's hand and caressed his knuckles with her thumb.  
"Dear... That pain medication is making you a little dizzy again. Just relax, okay. We came to tell you something nice, but maybe it's better to wait until morning. We care about you really, really much, Nux", she murmured.  
Okay, whatever. Fuck it all. Nux got to sleep.

Fuck it all indeed. In the morning Nux felt so damn ashamed about his outburst he concidered jumping from the window.  
Slit had bunked with him, taking care he wouldn't do anything too crazy at night.  
"Ya' up an' ready to go?" Slit muttered and headbutted him friendlily. Nux frowned.  
"To go where? I'm not gonna die today, shitbrain."  
"To the garage, jerkface. Ya'll see."  
He went to the garage, Slit supporting him from one side and Capable from the other. He was still feeling a little dizzy after the night.  
Oh. He saw.  
Oh.

 

That was... Propably the craziest, dumbest, ugliest car Nux had ever seen.  
It was a fucking minivan with welded-on heavy gun and a lancer's perch on the roof, huge fucking speakers on the sides...  
And it was painted bat-shit crazy. Like puke after eating candy.  
It was a fucking ugly rainbow lump, it was...  
"We made that for you, Nux. A little something now when your treatment is about to end", Capable told and hugged him.  
"For us", Slit reminded, looking so proud that he might explode.  
"For the raid."  
"Not a raid, expedition", Capable corrected and handed the steering wheel to Nux.  
"Go on, check it out, Imperator Nux."

"Ya' two are... Fucking crazy! What... What is this?"  
"On the command of our leader, Furiosa, we have been instructed to build a rig suitable for our new Imperator, to serve on the expedition she also commanded", Capable chuckled. She had planted Nux on the driver's seat. Nux looked confused.  
"But... It's not... It's not a war rig. Its... Fuck, I don't have a crew, I... Fuck", he muttered, squeezing the wheel. This had to be a dream. Fucking had to!  
"We don't do war no more, jerkface", Slit said and patted his shoulder so hard it turned red.  
"'S peace rig, self-defence only. For expe-dittin' an' shit. An' you sure have crew", he assured and whistled. Two boys came running. Nux recognized one of them to be the 'do you puke blood' -pup.  
"'Ere, jerkface. Black thumb Jeff, Gunner Gunner, (we modified the gun a little lighter to turn), ya'r lancer, that's still me, an' Shiny Doof", Slit said. Nux blinked.  
"What?"  
This had to be a fucking dream, real odd one.  
"Ya' heard me, idiot. I'mma be ya'r lancer, Jeff an' Gunner just earned a promotion to war... Um, peace boys, I guess, an' she..." Slit grinned and patted Capable's shoulder.  
"Is Shiny Doof, our new... Not-battle musician. Whadda'ya wanna call the rig?"

"Will you help me shave my head?" Capable asked, smiling. They were sitting on the van roof now: Nux, Capable and Slit, and eating candy.  
"What?", Nux muttered. Capable nodded enthusiastically.  
"Shave my head. Hair off, you know."  
"Why?", Nux asked, confused. He liked Capable's hair, so shiny and like fire.  
Capable was about to say something about her unpleasant memories when Slit punched Nux gently.  
"'Cause Doof can't have long hair, jerkface. War, I mean peace boys don't have no hair."  
For a while, nobody said anything. Then Nux looked at his friends.  
"So... I'm really not dyin'?"  
"No, you are not, Nux. Your mediaction is about to end because yout tumors are mostly gone", Capable sighed gently. Nux tilted his head.  
"So... It's over?"  
"What is over?"  
"Puking."

Doof Wagon had been a legend.  
The new monstrosity soon became just as legendary, spreading message of Citadel's new direction and giving hope (and visual nausea) across the wasteland.  
It's legendary crew rode to no-battles with pride, gathering information and supplies and ocassionally hoarding last candies and sweets of the old world.  
"PUKIN' RAINBOWS" was painted to it's side with five sets of enthusiastic hands, telling a story of courage, frienship and crome madness to any and all to see.


End file.
